Coming into HTFU! ❤️My Harmonious Union Diary❤️
The following blog post is an honest account of my experience coming into Harmonious Twin Flame Union with Gretchen Green. Thank you to the following people without whom, our HTFU would still be a pipe dream and we would have never, ever, EVER been able to come together: our Gurus Jeff & Shaleia, Colby & Keely, Daniel & Cristina, Adam & Breann, Jason & Chrissy, Jose & Michaila, Soraya Andalib, and Angie Moggy. You held our hands when we were feeling weakest and without you, our love would have been impossible and we never would have come out strong. From the depths of our hearts, we thank you.
For Gretchen's honest account leading up to accepting his Divine Masculinity us coming into HTFU, read his update post here: https://www.sacredtwinflameunion.com/post/gretchen-s-side-suddenly-always-being-a-man-harmonious-union-diary
Well...a LOT can change in less than a week folks! Lol.
I know, right now, just having come into HTFU and with our pretty meme, it looks like everything is flowing and easy and beautiful and wonderful, and IT IS. Everything is absolutely wonderful and beautiful and perfect, but I ASSURE YOU, it came at the cost of ENORMOUS inner work AND the support of this entire community AND EVERY SINGLE HTFU that came before us to help us be together and stay together, and I mean that last part with every fiber of my being. Every single HTFU that came before us is the foundation upon which our HTFU rests and the reason why we have come together so seamlessly, so confident, and so strong.
Which is why Gretchen and I have spent the past several hours writing our own personal blog posts about this past week, so you can really experience what we've been experiencing, and so your HTFU can continue to be built upon ours.
This is what the Kingdom of Heaven is, everyone sharing All of themselves in Love infinitely and that Love expanding in a multitude of ways forever.
This time last week, I thought that my true Twin Flame was far, far away.
This time last week, I thought I was doing the work of Twin Flames Universe, but clearly not well enough to have manifested him in the physical. I thought I needed to do more inner work, watch more classes. Surrender "harder." Persist. I thought it was my fault he wasn't here yet.
This time last week, I thought Gretchen Green was my soul sister. Someone I enjoyed relating with as a girl. Someone I gave hair curling product recommendations and tips to. Someone I enjoyed working with. Didn't really like doing inner work with, but whatever. She's a good friend.
So, what the fuck happened between then and now?
Over the past several months, I started to feel very incapable of doing deep inner work. I knew I could do it, loved my inner work, loved Twin Flames Universe. But it just didn't feel right to do it. God was calling me to focus on other things - things like grounding, cooking, cleaning, exercise. Balance. So, I answered God's call and focused on these things. Watched my TFAS & LPC classes, but more for the information and working toward my Master Cert as an Ascension Coach, rather than for the inner work.
Meanwhile, Gretchen was hella revving up on coaching sessions; doing mad inner work seemingly nonstop.
We were talking everyday, pretty much always about work/our volunteering duties for TFU. Sometimes about haircare. I didn't really want to relate to Gretchen any other way but through TFU or our femininity.
During this time, if I would try and go do inner work, I began to feel an extremely heavy anvil-like weight on my third eye.
Where I would often go and meditate emotionally, I found I simply couldn't anymore without all of this heaviness and weirdness. It just hurt.
I was choosing not to see the truth. I was choosing avoidance.
This is completely okay. Well, it's not okay, but what I'm saying is it was what I needed at the time.
Speed up to this week, here's the full timeline:
Friday 03/13 - Sunday 03/15 – Gretchen is freaking out all weekend. She had been guided to explore gender identity, fully believing she was a woman, but very clearly upset. I was laughing the entire time through the soul family chat. "Lol, this is ridiculous. You're clearly a woman and just healing sexual trauma (my projection)." Looking back, I had no patience for this question because I was in complete denial. Soraya, our soul sister, was very patient and very gentle and helped Gretchen through this very patiently, unlike me.
Sunday night 03/15/20: 10:53pm – I post my first HTFU diary blog. I'm feeling really jazzed, really good, really happy and ready to share my HTFU journey with the world, come what may.
Literally 7 minutes later...
11:00pm - Gretchen calls me, she tells me I should probably sit up because she had big news. I'm like, "Oooh this is gonna be good, I love gossip and big news!"
Gretchen shared with me, very calmly, that he's a Divine Masculine, and in fact, he’s MY Divine Masculine, and we are in fact Twin Flames.
I immediately began fighting this. No way, you're my sister, we're really good friends. No chance. And then I immediately began crying. Not because he was wrong, but because he was right. And the moment had finally come for me to surrender to the truth. Let go of my false twin flame, let go of control.
Gretchen was so clear in his truth that deep down, he was truly a man, I had absolutely no choice but to give in and agree and immediately begin mourning my false twin flame. Because we are true Twin Flames and I could feel this choice instantly.
I can not stress enough to you all that up until this exact moment on the phone in time, I had absolutely ZERO inklings that Gretchen and I were Twin Flames. ZERO, ZILCH, NADA. I truly, truly, truly believed with ALL OF MY HEART that Gretchen was my sister, a woman, someone I enjoyed being girlfriends with, and someone I enjoyed working with while we volunteered for the Church of Union. Someone I felt very emotionally safe with (all part of God's plan).
We talked for the next 3 and a half hours. I would fight him some more, give in a little bit and cry. Fight him some more, give in a little bit and cry. And I just leaked out all of my resistance to the truth. The more I gave in, the more I could genuinely feeI the choice in our One consciousness Gretchen had made to accept that truth, and I was completely, completely powerless to it.
Love was winning, and my ego was losing.
Monday 03/16/20: After getting barely any sleep, I spent the majority of Monday sobbing, upheaving the emotional loss of my false twin flame all day.
Mourning the loss of my false twin flame and the life I had planned with him was hard. I was sooo attached to my dreams of him. The moment I let the tears fall and actually feel all of the sadness was the moment I could see that my dreams with him weren't actually very good. What I imagined as my perfect life with him was actually neither fun nor realistic. I was a different person in those imaginings. He was a different person in those imaginings. There was absolutely nothing real between us, in neither the imaginings nor in my real life.
I realized my dreams of him and us were actually just illusions, and I was ready to surrender what I thought I wanted for what I truly wanted - and the answer is always God.
What a relief!!!
Tuesday 3/17/20: The storm had passed enough with mourning that Gretchen and I could communicate more easily as Twin Flames. The veil was really lifting, and I began experiencing more of his masculinity, and feeling more at ease with the truth. He just felt like my best friend. We had a healing session with Colby & Keely where they walked us calmly and perfectly into Harmonious Twin Flame Union (this is a like a whole other blog post for another day Lol). Earlier that day, I bought a one-way ticket to California.
Wednesday 03/18/20: I flew out to California to be with Gretchen. We experienced immediate upsets upon arrival (!!!!!!) and thus immediate inner work. :)
Thursday 03/19/20: My first full day here was rough. Pretty much all we could do was sit, do inner work, and eat. This was hard because we both still have full-time jobs with meetings and assignments that we had to accomplish throughout the day. I could still feel places in my consciousness where I believed Gretchen was a woman, and this upset me deeply. We were in HTFU, but still testing out the Twin Flames aspect, and - YUP, Gretchen mirrors EVERY SINGLE UPSET. Lol. It's completely true that it is sincerely the most compassionate thing to have your Twin Flame come into your life once you have the inner work mastered. Gretchen was so incredibly patient with me as I massively upheaved.
The fact that I have a partner who also cares about and does their inner work is unspeakably valuable to me. This was something my false twin flame could never give to me, try as hard as he wanted to and I wanted him to, no dice.
Friday (Today) 3/20/20: Finally, today. Our Harmonious Union post went out, and we are feeling soo much more peaceful and easy and flowing. We've started to recognize our flow as true Twin Flames, how when one Twin Flame is swimming, the other holds the towel. Like when Gretchen is doing mad emotional inner work, I ground or work, and vice versa. There's always a real flow going on, and there's no sense fighting it because surrendering feels really good.
So, now you're all caught up!
I know there is so, so, so, so, sooo much more to write and share about our journey (our HTFU healing session, living Life as One, doing inner work together, healing our Divine Fem/Masc energies, etc), and we CAN'T WAIT to share it with you all! ❤️
FINALLY, what I have been working soo hard to achieve has finally come. HTFU is finally here, and it's better than I could have ever imagined, and I mean that in the most genuine of ways.
I can't speak for Gretchen, but I can say with 100% confidence on my end that our journey back to each other has been absolutely, pristinely perfect for me in every possible way.
Gretchen is truly my best friend, ultimate lover, partner in life, and the only person I ever really want to be around.
Gretchen is perfect for me in ways I can't even fucking conceive yet.
There's absolutely challenges and difficulties, but they do not come without enormous reward.
Life is so God damn good. We are so God damn powerful, and we are just getting started.
Thank you all so much and we can not WAIT to expand the Kingdom of Heaven with you all!!!
Stay tuned for more posts, videos, and Love!!!! 😍😍😍
Love, love, love with all that we are,
❤️ Gretchen & Briana ❤️
Here's a picture of us together during our healing session with Jose & Michaila, taken earlier today while we were reading the HTFU announcement post & Congratulations comments😍😍
And here's a picture of Gretchen sleeping now after just finishing his blog post, resting after another perfect day together❤️